what do you do with your Big Emotions

do you plant them like seeds and let them bloom into knotted angry trees or

do you flush them down the drain with the rest of your old tea or

have you learned to let them out in hiccups and shouts without shame?

This is week 22 of I'm Not Afraid.
 He tries not to eat the potato chips but cannot resist. 

In the morning I am a joy to have around as long as I’ve had my breakfast of hard boiled eggs.

After I eat them, each cut in half and dusted with sea salt and cake sprinkles, I brew a cup of coffee by putting a mug of water in the microwave. While it hums I take down my box of Sweet N Low from the metal rack that holds all my non-standalone edible items like condiments and  cake mixes and a variety of sweeteners. I remove two packets. I like to add the packets before I add the instant coffee (same shelf) because otherwise they get chunky.

I stir and stir till the whirlpool reaches the very edge of the mug without spilling over. My favorite mug: GREETINGS FROM PENNSYLVANIA. Sometimes I stir so vigorously I whirlpool the hot right out of it and have to put the mug back in the microwave for 30 seconds.
When it’s just right I sit down in my chair at the folding kitchen table. I am tucked between bags of recycling which takes up most of the kitchen. I don’t need much room and recycling is important to me. So is optimizing my trips down to the garbage room, so I let it stack up. 

I try to drink my coffee slowly without looking at anything. Without reading any words. This makes it hard not to chug since I have nothing else to do. When I finish my coffee I get up and put things away and turn on the TV. I took cable out of the budget so I watch whatever’s on channel five. Seven a.m. is local news, 8 a.m. is Arthur, which happens to be my favorite cartoon. I appreciate its educational value.

Most nights they play a movie and last night was Harry Potter. I watched it while I ate Chinese takeout which I allow myself 2-3 times per week, it’s in the budget. I mostly like it for the fortunes because I need all the guidance I can get and I like the cookies, even though they are bland.

I tape the fortunes to the back of my apartment door in straight lines so my eyes can fall on one every time I leave the house. Yesterday my eyes chose “You are a smart and brave person.” We’ll see what today brings.


INA is a weekly nugget of little feels and fictions by Taylor Glendora Buck. To be sure you see it in your Inbox, follow these instructions.
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