For a celebration of love, Valentine’s can make us feel anything but warm and fuzzy. Emotionally unavailable exes might have something to do with it. But mostly that cold cringe comes down to the ways marketers wrap it up. 

Love is love is love is certainly in the air. More of us are queer than ever. More of us are opting out of one-on-one relationships than ever. More of us are celebrating love of self, friends and pets than ever. But as brands work harder than ever to rethink biases and time-worn habits, the sentiment too often lands clunkily when it comes down to words.  

Take Burberry’s B:Mine campaign. Like the brand’s buzzed-about new logo, it throws off the straightjacket. In images, real-life couples – intimate, scarred, tender – take place of too-polished, white heteronormativity. But here’s the kicker: click to shop and the copy’s all ‘seasonal pink gifts for her’, and ‘leather card cases for him’. So far, so stereotypical, so chasing after SEO.

Sure, some brands tried harder. But when a gifting site reads ‘these gender-inclusive gifts are for her, him, them and everyone' you've got to ask: where's the empathy in these box-ticking exercises? They’ve traded labels but, as customers, do we see ourselves in the words? Do we feel it?

And that gets to the heart of the problem. When inclusive language is boiled down to ‘say this’ ‘don’t say that’, it’s too black-and-white, too fixated on PC terms like ‘caregivers’ or ‘chairperson’. Those generalisations are great for blurring social norms. But let's not lose our focus on human experiences that resonate on a deeper level. The barriers to entry are lower, but what draws us in?

Enter Specsavers. Its contact-lens campaign got heart eyes all round for remembering the people in its message. Like Burberry, the brand got real-life couples in the frame. But words moved beyond labels and stereotypes, digging into those awkward kiss-clash moments shared by glasses wearers. And it spoke directly to them: don’t let your specs get in the way. 

Actions speak louder than politically correct labels. Use them, absolutely. But think of them like recyclable packaging: essential, expected, but not especially motivating alone. They help us steer clear of assumptions that might make people unwelcome. But as brands with customer insight, there’s no need to assume. Understanding who you’re speaking to is how to connect.

OkCupid’s arrow hit the mark with it. For two years, the platform had seen the number of users identifying as non-binary, bisexual and pansexual grow. Its response? Rip up the ‘Hallmark’ Valentine’s Day, and create greetings cards exploring love in all its forms. This wasn’t a pronoun swap; OkCupid tuned into customers’ day-to-day. Think: couples bonding over climate-change-denying dads, butt dials and that significant other who’s still ‘OkCupid Dave #3’ in your phone.



Like many of our relationships – lovers, friends, situationships – words come and go. Hot today, cringe tomorrow. As brands and writers, it’s important to move with the cultural conversation. But let’s move people on an emotional level too. Give inclusive language some love.