CORE NUMBER 4
The Core Mechanics are your new Internet Series Champions! The win was a return to form for the Mechanics, who previously cemented their dynasty with three wins in [REDACTED BY LEAGUE HISTORIAN]. Despite the pedigree, the Mechanics entered the Postseason as an underdog, idling quietly as the Philly Pies dominated headlines with a nearly historic 79-win Regular Season. But the Mechs Geared Up when it mattered most, sweeping the Pies in the MLCS (and once again denying Philly its phylogenic base), before going on to dismantle a grown-up Boston Flowers in the Internet Series.
GIFTED
The Grand Opening of the ILB Gift Shop sparked a league-wide shopping spree that saw Fans sending some commodifed love to their treasured rivals. The hottest gifts of the Season? Divine interventions like Home Field Advantage and The Fourth Strike, and mint-conditioned collectors editions of Naomi McDaniel, York Silk and Chorby Soul!
CASE CLOSED?
The mysterious disappearances and reappearances that plagued the ILB for Seasons appear to be a distant memory. Despite suspicions, league investigators remain divided on the issue, and sources close to the case suggest that, barring outside assistance, we might be gated off from the truth forever.
SPEAKING VOLUMES
Chapters of League Historian Lōotcrates’s ongoing enquiry were made available for public consumption, giving Fans a peek into Pre-History I and a light stroll down memory lane. League officials promised more volumes are on the way, pending the necessary review and redactions of the highly classified material.
POWER STRUGGLE?
Conflict at the executive level seems to have spilled into public view as Ownership suspended Seasonal Readings indefinitely, following accusations of base dealing and sewing dissent. The suspension of powers did not go over well, as the Reader retaliated in a surprising act of open rebellion, Defacing the Ballot in what league officials are calling a concerted effort to undermine the Election. Ownership preached calm and urged voters to vote their conscience, pointing to early exit polls as proof of public confidence, trusting that a booming economy and soaring Ratings would easily outmatch any outside (or is it inside?) agitation.
TABLES TURNED
That trust appears to have been misplaced, as Fans voted in overwhelming numbers for the mysterious Reader’s write-in Decree, installing a Turntable in every Ballpark. Making matters worse, the subsequent passage of Ratification codified the renovation into non-physical law, forcing Ownership (and Fans) to rethink the very nature of victory. While the results were deemed a disappointment and likely spell losses for the league’s immediate future, Ownership vowed that, through hard work and collective sacrifice, victory would win out in the end.
Internet League #Blaseball returns Monday May 10th at 11AM Eastern, 8AM Pacific!
Win and/or Lose. Play Ball.
