Happy Sunday! 

Lovely Sown readers, this newsletter has officially graced your inboxes for 25 Sundays (okay, one Monday). Thank you to all of you who have been here since the beginning, but also thank you to all of you who joined along the way! 

Making + maintaining friendships in adulthood is not a joke — but it's frequently not the hottest topic to discuss, either. In the rush of CAREER! LOVE LIFE! LAUNDRY! etc, we can often forget to take time for our own friendships like forgetting to water the plants. The past seven months of Sown have been my way to hopefully help you (and me) remember to give that dirt a little sprinkle every once in a while.

Last week, I talked about what I'd learned since in the past 25 issues of Sown and how I've worked toward cracking this code of adult friendship. Now, I want to hear what you've learned, too. Take a peruse through some our favorite issues of Sown, from skipping the small talk to loving where you live to finding your gaggle to making friends when you don't have a traditional work schedule. Talk to me about what are some of the biggest (or littlest!) takeaways you've had from Sown and how you've been working on your friendships lately. And if you're brand new — hellooooo new friends! — take this moment to see what we're all about. (The full archives can be found here!)

Thanks for hanging out with me for 25 issues, folks. Can't wait to see where we'll go.

Your friend,


P.S. Next week, the Q&A's will be back with Hanna in DC! Prep with this just might hear the sound of my voice. I warned you.
(^ from our very first issue!)

#4: To small talk or to skip the small talk — "Loneliness is not based on how many people you know. It’s actually based on the sense that you have people you feel you can share about your life with," says Ashley Kirsner, the founder of Skip the Small Talk and the Q&A feature for this issue.

#5: Having fun as a party of one (yes, really!) —  An essay from Maggie: "I put on my black leather jacket, looked in the mirror and told myself I was a badass, and drove to the restaurant I used to work at with every intention to walk in there without any fear or hesitation, without any self-consciousness or reluctancy, without anything except sureness and confidence and positivity. I was going to sit at the bar by myself, order myself a drink, and avoid being on my phone too much."

#8: Making the first move (in a friendship) — How do you friend date?? Clara explains her strategy for planning outings and nights in with her new friends: "It is too easy to be passive and expect friendship out of convenience." 

#10: How to love where you live — "Building social relationships where you live, even with the people who are sort of on the periphery of your life, is a huge part of place attachment," says Melody Warnick, the author of a book on the literal topic of learning how to love where you live (even if you're there for a limited time).

#12: Looking for (Seder in) Alaska — A Texas native, Jordan has been living in Anchorage, Alaska for the past nine months. Passover was approaching, and she didn't have a nearby network of folks to mark the occasion with. So rather than spend the time alone, she decided to ask for help, via social media — which is how I, having never met Jordan in person, encountered her quest. 

#14: Hygge over here — Elements of this Danish tradition are the perfect ingredients for making the most of a cozy, Instagrammable winter, but "at its core, hygge is about building intimacy and trust with others."

#15: Entrepreneurs of friendship — "I wasn’t all in just for myself. I wanted to support her in a way that propelled her career and her passion, and I wanted the same," says Karen Spears, an entrepreneur and master network builder.

#19: Finding a gaggle — Nancy podcast cohosts Kathy and Tobin explain how they worked on finding their gaggles of queer friends, why it's important for LGBT folks, and why "50 percent of it is you saying yes to doing something when somebody asks you and 50 percent of you asking other people to do something."

#20: And as our lives change...come whatever... — Cue the graduation song, because Caroline Kitchener takes us down memory lane with this look at changing connections in the first year post-college.

#22: 12 months, 10 countries — 48 instant new friends? — Anneka is in the midst of a wild adventure. She's traveling the world as part of the Remote Year program, but she's also figuring out how to adjust her friendship expectations to the group's and just be herself.

Want to keep going? See the full list here.

Go sow: Challenge for the week. 

"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass." — Maya Angelou (and remember, everyone can be young at heart!)
Reply to this email and build the Sown brain trust — share with me what you've learned about friendship recently! 
And add these to your friendship toolkit:
  • Why is there such a stigma about using friend-dating apps? "Unlike Tinder, where a six-pack is worth a thousand words, friendship apps require more analysis when swiping."
  • 10 questions to ask a new friend (especially if you met on a friend-dating app!): If you say "Hey now," does she say "You're an all-star" or "This is what dreaaaams are made of"? 
  • "The recognition of a new life stage — emerging adulthood — has been recommended by developmental psychologists to account for the changes to social milestones that have traditionally represented adulthood. The concept of 'emerging adulthood' acknowledges the varied levels of independence exhibited by young people and reflects the process of personal development and 'finding oneself'."
  • Libraries are filling an affordable fitness void: "Patrons] need community and to connect with other humans. They should get what they need from the library — and sometimes, it’s not a book."
  • 15 unforgettable female friendships in literature: This is your extra incentive to go get a library card — and see what activities your local branch offers! 
  • How the widows of police officers killed in Dallas two years ago are healing with friendship: "Sometimes I cry louder than I want to, or mean to." (And that's okay!)

Grow the Sow.

Zoom into the full map here.

Share Sown
As always, reply to this email if you have any questions, concerns, or ideas. I want you to hear from you! 
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