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CHAPO TRAP HOUSE NEWSLETTER NUMBER FIVE

All right. Allll right. I read your emails about how late the newsletter is. No, scratch that, I didn't read any of those emails. I see the subject line that's usually something like "ahhhh about the NEWSLETTER" and I ignore it. That's the level of disgust I have with newsletter-related issues. Please for the love of God never contact me about the newsletter. I have no idea what would compel you to do so in the first place. Why. Why.
Ebook! Get the ebook! There's a brilliant ebook featuring original short stories by Will Menaker, Matt Christman, Felix Biederman, and Brendan James. And it's yours, it's absolutely yours, if you send a receipt for purchasing The Book or getting your local library to stock The Book to chapobook@gmail.com.

The deadline is this Friday! If you don't buy the book before then you're completely screwed!
West Coast Tour Cities, Reviewed
Matt Christman

Los Angeles 

The food is delicious, but getting to the food involves driving around until the only thing you're hungry for is delicious poison. Hollywood sign is useful if you forget where you are. 3 1/2 out of 5 stars.

San Francisco

Food also delicious, weather and surroundings are even better. Citizenry has all been secretly replaced by Apple's new line of iPod People. 3 1/2 out of 5 stars.

Seattle

Space Needle was closed.  1 out of 5 stars.

Portland

By Rockabillys. For Rockabillys.  3 out of 5 stars.   
Holy moly there's a thing. If you are one of the 90% of our listeners who live in New York City you should come to this event. It's a fundraiser to support Julia Salazar, who is great. We'll be there along with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and a bunch of phenomenal comedians. Buy your ticket now. If you don't you disgust us.
Last Week On Chapo Trap House
Virgil Texas
Episode 228 - Supreme Clientele

Amber and Will pose as small time drug dealers to take down the Sinaloa cartel. Felix and Matt go on an acid trip at gunpoint and uncover long-hidden truths about their souls. Meanwhile, Virgil gets upset when his mailman won't take "no" for an answer. Guest starring Ashley Feinberg as "El Gato."

Episode 229 - Double A *Beep Beep* M L O

The Saudi royal family has plans for Amber. Felix and Matt get trapped in the Tesla proving grounds. Meanwhile, Virgil thinks he can improve on the Pepsi formula. Guest starring Karina Moreno as Queen Raina.

Episode 230 - A Colossal Wreck

Amber and Will head to the South Pole to save the Antarctic research station. There's just one problem: everyone there is dead. Felix and Matt race against time to solve the Arcatatrix's puzzle. Meanwhile, Virgil worries that his cable guy thinks he's a racist.

Episode 231 - Quiz Boys

Amber and Will enter the Time Nozzle -- will they be able to return without murdering John Tyler? Felix and Matt attend an AA meeting to take down a mafia don. Meanwhile, Virgil just can't even with the butterflies in his garden. Guest starring Michael Kupperman as Hitler.

Episode 232 - America, You Sexy Bigfoot!

Is it the real Amber who came out of the Time Nozzle? Will and Felix get out of the Professor's Cube in time to save the reservoir? Meanwhile, Virgil wants to know who keeps editing the Wikipedia page for "Duckman."
That's it. That's the newsletter. That's all the information you require. Please, I beg you, do not respond to this in a 
Copyright © 2018 Chapo Trap House, All rights reserved.


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