My Watercolor Realization

I took a watercolor workshop this weekend. It was for beginners. Midway through the first half-day, we began a painting, after some nice warm-ups and instruction in technique.

The teacher gave us an assignment and told us how to approach it. I began the assignment, confidently ignoring the teacher’s approach. (I used another she had shared with us instead, one I was excited to try.) This was an adult class. We were all there by choice.

It didn’t matter a whit to me that I wasn’t taking the teacher’s suggestion. It didn’t occur to me to worry about it until I raised my head halfway through, and sensed my three table-mates’ reaction to what I was doing: Fear.

Heads down, they were stressing, talking, comparing. Diligently implementing the teacher’s suggested approach. But underneath: fear.

The teacher’s approach had included a drawing technique that turned the photo we were working from into a tracing, she suggested we then fill in with color. Like paint-by-numbers. The teacher even acknowledged this. And kept reminding us it was ok to play and experiment!

Maybe she wanted to help us not be afraid, and make it easy. But it didn’t occur to me to be afraid. What was the worst that could happen? And why make something new so easy a machine could do it? (Easy would have been staying home.)

Nothing terrible happened. I ended up with two paintings I like and a powerful realization—inspired by RM, who interviewed me recently in response to my offer on Facebook and LinkedIn. (Please feel free to take me up on the offer you see at that link or just reply to this newsletter and we’ll set it up.)

What RM most wanted to know was how did I get this way? I take the way I am so for granted that I could not answer him well. But my watercolor realization has helped me answer him better.

At the workshop, I saw how locked in others got—immediately, without question or self-reflection—when confronted with something new.

Confronted with an opportunity to play, to open to chance, experiment, make a mess, and learn, they tightened up, even though the risks were low and doing otherwise meant getting more of what they came for.

The loudest voice in my head is always my own. Of course it’s contradicted by extraneous, external voices. Like most, I have inner conflict. But I always know what to do.

Sometimes, I may feel threatened by others’ response to my oddness. But I can tell when that threat is a paper tiger, a ghost, an illusion—not reality. I can tell clearly when I am, in any way I need to be, safe. (And the infrequent times I am not.)

I’ve gotten this way in part by nature, ancestry, and past lives. But I’ve also gotten here by raising my own clarity: assessing risk, and fluidly trading ease or approval for the chance to get what I want. Whereas others perceive threat without question or measurement! (The Spock in me points out that this is highly impractical, a waste of perfectly good desire, as well as time and energy. )

If people are merely going to think me odd, who cares?

If people are only going to stare, so what?

If all people are going to do is shake their heads, call me names, or gossip (and those people are by definition unlikely to be close to me)…I would ask you why I should care, but it would be a rhetorical question.

I don’t hate those people. I don’t rebel against them. I don’t even think about them! You can imagine how relaxing, invigorating, and refreshing this is for me.

It doesn’t occur to me to even wonder about how most folks do it. (Whatever “it” is.) I may research it if I need to, but what I wonder about is how I do it.

Sometimes this means I am slow to learn a thing. But once I learn it, I’m golden. It’s mine.

It matters to me how I spend my time. How I live my desires and my intentions. What I do with my mind.

And this is what matters to me for you. Not that you do my plan. But that you do yours.

I have a number of tools I have invented and refined and teach and coach to help you. But unlike those who on top of all that, also have a path for you to follow—I don’t. It does not occur to me that you would want to follow my path.

It also doesn’t occur to me that you would want to be like anyone except yourself. And this fact about me is valuable to you.

Even if you’ve gotten waylaid for a long while by following others: it’s easy for me to hear your inner conflict, and help you raise clarity about what you want, the assets you already have to get it, and how to heal where you hold back out of fear, distraction, or trauma.

Thanks for being interested in my realizations, and your own. If they make you want to explore working with me, here’s a button you can click and poof! We’ll meet.

Click here to explore working together.

Focus Course Deferred!

The Focus Course (described here) is deferred til later in the year. I know there is interest but I can’t figure out the best timing and frequency for the greatest number of people without asking you directly. So, if you’re interested in the Focus Course:

  • which evening is best for you: Tuesday or Thursday?

  • do you want to learn everything in 3 class meetings—or 2?

  • do you want to meet weekly—or monthly?

  • are there any months you could not meet?

  • what do you absolutely want me to teach & include?

Just reply to this newsletter to tell me your answers.

Invite your friends to meet with me free.

One of my darlingest soul-colleagues recently bemoaned the fact that she wanted to share RAISING CLARITY with a friend who doesn’t do social media.
My response: she should just book a free exploratory meeting with me.
My soul-colleague’s (hilarious) response:
It’s so easy to forget about good old-fashioned things like meeting together to talk when social media have us fixated on social media.
So please remember I prefer we
meet, for free, always, when you want to discuss working together. And I encourage you to refer others to do so, too. Here’s where to book, or click the button below if that’s more fun. (I like buttons.)

Click here to meet free & explore working together.

Summer is for receiving—and grieving

What? Yes. If you’re feeling grief this Summer, it’s because nothing is hidden right now. This is a season everything is visible. What you see is what you get.
Try it: RAISING CLARITY’s new Summer video course.
And learn how I collaborate with the Summer seasonal energies, and how you can as well. Easily, naturally, peacefully.