I posted this on my personal Facebook over the weekend, but the entire point is to raise awareness, so what better way to do that than to share it with this audience!
My sister, Ruby Burns Peoples made an excellent point today about how it's taboo to REALLY talk about suicide and how mental health impacts us. So I wanted to share something with you all.
As so many people do, I struggle with mental health. It’s genetic within my family and has always been an incredible struggle for me. When I say my family struggles I don’t just mean I grew up seeing my parents sad sometimes… I am talking multiple IVCs, long stays in locked facilities… suicide attempts. The worst of the worst. The first time I was pulled from class because of issues I had was in elementary school. Yes, I was that young, and apparently, some of the writing I did was too dark and concerning.
So this has been a lifelong battle. The genetic disposition I have for poor mental health was only magnified by traumatic childhood experiences. So much so that more than one therapist in my life told me they don’t see how I am able to get out of bed most days.
But the truth of the matter is some days I can’t. I physically can’t.
I say all of this because I want to bring awareness to the different ways people cope with their mental struggles. When I am on a downward spiral and realize I am taking longer to leave my room for the day, or the sun is shining a little less bright… to prevent myself from reaching the rock bottom point — I volunteer. I launch some impulsive “give back” effort. I wish I could explain why this is my coping mechanism, but I cannot. It has always been this way, for as long as I remember. I am sure there is some psychological reason that helping others or doing something for someone else gives me purpose and with a purpose, I am less likely to convince myself my existence doesn’t matter, but I would rather not spiral into that analysis.
So often people tell me how great it is that I always volunteer. Or how nice it is that I always do things for other people. But what I want you to know is… if I am doing that… if I randomly and impulsively launch some service project… that means I am a few steps away from my rock bottom. It is the only way to save myself. I always find humor in the irony that while I am doing the most to lift others up, I am actually suffering immensely inside… but then I know that maybe what I am doing keeps anyone else from feeling the way I do and then I level back out and all is right in the world again.
So keep in mind that everyone copes differently. Everyone has a different struggle that you may never know about. Be kind every chance you get. And if you are ever, ever in a place where you are down, or alone, or find yourself struggling, please know that I am right here and will always be right here. We can climb back up together. You may be having a bad day or a bad week, but it isn’t a bad life. And we can find the good together… and if we can’t find it, we certainly can make it ourselves!
|
|
|
