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How has this month been, Friend?

Before we get started with this month’s newsletter we want to say that My Sex Bio stands with Black Lives. We stand with the protests taking place around the world and across the United States because no lives can matter until Black lives matter.

So what are we talking about this month?


This month we’ve reached out to our expert partners and done significant research to try and bring to light the issues of RACISM AND SEX. The issues we have been and will be tackling are complex and systemic and this newsletter is meant to provide a brief overview of some of the places we see racism coming into play with sex, sexuality and sexual health.

This is meant as a jumping off point from which you might choose to educate yourself further, which we urge you to do.
 

Some basic facts:

 
  • 36% of Pornhub’s most searched terms in 2019 were racial.
  • Black women are 3-4 times more likely to die in childbirth than white women.
  • African American women accounted for 60% of the estimated new HIV infections that occurred among all women in 2014.
  • 90% of White women said they would not date an Asian man and 40% of Asian-American women said they would not date an Asian man.
  • Latinx people are significantly more likely to be seen on screen in sexualized attire or nude than any other race.

Exotification:


Exotifying is seeing someone as exotic or unusual — and with that, romanticize different stereotypes that are connected to who you think the person is. The term describes a process in which you attribute a set of stereotypes to a person based on their appearance and how they fall outside of the norm. People who are racialized as non-white, LGBTQ people, or people who have a disability are often exposed to exotification.
– Näthatshjälpen
 
Exotification lies at the heart of many sexual stereotypes. Learn more about identifying and avoiding exotification in this resource by Näthatshjälpen.
 

Sexual Racism:


We asked our partner and friend, Dr. Catalina Lawsin, about sexual racism.

“Sexual racism is demonstrated across dating apps in how minorities are swiped left. These choices are unconscious and not always intentional - but they do have their negative consequences. Not only do choices in partners decrease amongst BIPOC, how we feel we can assert our needs, preferences and desires in AND out of the bedroom are shaped. Sexual submission - saying 'yes' when we really mean 'no' to be accepted, to be loved. These are the consequences.

“If you haven't heard the term, get curious. Explore your choices and how others have treated you with regards to your race in relationships.”

We feel this is particularly poignant for Black women and Asian men, whose sexuality is often taken from them by a white-centric society with white-centric beauty standards.
 

Hypersexualization:


On the other hand, Black men, Asian women and Latinx people are some of the most hypersexualized because of long-standing, damaging stereotypes that are consistently reinforced by portrayals in the media.

Latinx
According to scholars, in the entertainment industry, Latinas have been historically depicted as possessing one of two completely contrasting identities. They have been depicted as either "virginal," "passive,” and "dependent on men" or as "hot-tempered," "tempestuous," "promiscuous" and "sexy,” (Correa, 2010).

Black men and women:
In the words of Professor Herbert Samuel:

"...in many ways it's a social paradox that if you look at the history, and really going back to the mid-1500s or so and continuing on to slavery within the United States and even further than that, black men and women were said to be animalistic in their sexual desires, particularly black men. That black women were very easy and responded enthusiastically towards any sexual advance that anyone would want to approach them.

"And now we get to a point where if the paradox is the devaluation of what in the erotic industry or the sex work industry is doing is the exact opposite of what one would think given the history and attitudes particularly that white societies had about African-American men and women…

"...if someone says that you are good at sex or that your penis is bigger than anyone else's, that's about the only positive that you can get out of all those negatives to a certain extent. And I think some black men have bought into the myth that they are hyper sexual, that their sexual prowess and the size, the physicality is greater than others. And it's sort of a false identity that sets up, and you buy into that myth yourself rather than discovering who you are as an individual." (NPR, 2007)

Asian, Asian-American women:
“Asian American men are often seen as effeminate or asexual, while Asian American women are viewed as sexually desirable, exotic and passive.

“In addition to more overt forms of racial bias, their colleagues, acquaintances and even romantic partners held inaccurate assumptions about Asian American women, including that they were or should be submissive, sexually exotic or petite (Asian American Journal of Psychology, Vol. 9, No. 1, 2018),” (Abrams 2019).
 

Racism in Pornography:


In pornography, all of the culture's racist myths become just another turn-on. Thus, asian women are portrayed as pliant dolls; Latin women as sexually voracious yet utterly submissive; and black women as dangerous and contemptible sexual animals. (Dorchen Leidholdt, 1981)
 

So. . .what do we do?


Supporting, amplifying and listening to melanated voices are the key ways you can be a productive ally.

Amplify Melanated Voices:
Follow and share these Instagram accounts who are leading the way in sex positive and empowering sex, sexuality and sexual health education:
@sexwithslashay_
@thesensiblesexpert
@amonelise
@coachkittypride
@the.intimacy.doc
@oloricoitus
@_elizabethadewale
@thecameronglover
@afrosexology_
@thearticbenazir
@_sexonthetable
@meyonnaswavaye
@blackgirlbliss
@thesexpottherapist
@annodright
@sabrina.womb
@drmarthalee
@zoyaamirin
@noirsxtherapist
 

Buy From POC-Owned Companies:
When you need a new toy for the bedroom or another pack of condoms, opt to purchase from one of the many POC-owned companies that are doing high-quality work in their field. Here are just a few examples:
On the green couch
b condoms
The Honey Pot Company
Seduction By Lace
Naughty Sinsation
iCandi
Harts Desires
Kinky Choices
Kink crate
 
Bedroom Kandi
savage x fenty
New York Toy Collective
LyLyth
Feelmore
Organic Loven
Sankofa
Anya lust

Writing prompt:
 

FOR NON-BIPOC ALLIES:
What are 10 ways in which I have been privileged in my sexual development, education and ability to self-care?

FOR BIPOC:
What are some ways (both good and bad) that my sexuality has been influenced by mainstream media, racial stereotypes, and the history of my ancestors?

When was my last sexual experience? What are 10 things I received during that experience? What are 10 things I gave?
 

This voluntary monthly prompt invites you to explore your sexual biography.
Tips on exploring this: Set aside 20 minutes with your phone on silent and relax yourself in a comfortable space with a pen and paper. Go slow. Start with what comes to mind from your first read of the prompt. Continue writing your stream of consciousness.

Mantra of the month


“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
                                                                                                 – Buddha

Researching our sexual biographies:



Do you believe the sexual health care system and the health care system in general is profiting off systemically racist policies?
 
 
Yes          No

 
Responses are voluntary and anonymous.

Thank you for your support, Patreon Community:

 
  • Janet
  • Leslie
  • Victoria
  • Audrey
  • Ashley

Want to join our Patreon Community and support a sexually-empowered future? Click here

—The My Sex Bio Team
 
@mysexbio
@mysexbio
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