Hello, Friend!

This month is all about you.

If you’ve been following us on social media, you likely know that we’ve been doing a lot of introspection this month. January has been all about sexual self-reflection.

And that can mean many things to different people – and that’s the fun of it!

You can shape your own sexual reflection on how it will best fit YOU. To get some ideas of what that might be, we asked our expert partners what that phrase looks like to them.

Here is what the amazing Denell Barbara Nawrocki (cervical wellness teacher) told us:
“To me, sexual-self reflection is the process and practice of actively remembering our sexual history for the purpose of integration. For many of us, our sexual history is replete with alcohol/drug-filled experiences, disassociated and numb experiences, or painful and difficult experiences. When we don’t take the time that’s needed to process and integrate these experiences of our body, the energy remaining can wreak havoc on our self-esteem & self-worth, our immune systems, and the overall wellness of our reproductive system.”


Benefits to keeping a sex journal:

One of our favorite ways to reflect on your sexual self and sexual biography is by keeping a sex journal! This, again, can be tailored to your personal lifestyle and preferences, just like any other form of reflection. Maybe you want to write in it after each time you have sex or masturbate. Or perhaps you only want to after moments that stand out or leave you feeling a particular way.

You might also want to use your journal to think back on moments from long ago, or to set goals for your future sexual self. Consider what needs of yours or your partner’s are being met or unmet, what situations trigger them, and ways to enhance or address them. You can even use your sex journal with your partner(s) before and after sex – or maybe even during, if you’re creative!

Journaling with a partner can be an awesome way to start meaningful conversations about the sexual experiences you share or find confidence in communicating what did or didn’t work each time you have sex. That way you can grow together and become even better sexual partners to one another.

And there are even more benefits:

  • Writing about things you liked or disliked during solo or partner play can give you more sexual self-confidence.
  • This can be a form of freewriting, in which you give yourself a set period of time to just write without too much thought, nor concerns over syntax – or even full sentences.
  • You might want to give yourself a prompt (like one of those listed below) to get your mind flowing, but otherwise, just write!
  • Sex journaling can reduce stress, by providing an outlet to analyze and reflect on your emotions and feelings around sex, sexuality, etc.
  • If you’re having sex regularly with multiple people, it can help you keep track of the who, when and where, in the case that you contract an STI.
  • It can show you the miracles of your own body and the power you contain. This is especially prevalent in reflections on masturbation – which you should most definitely journal about!
  • You have the power to blow your own mind! And that should be documented so you can look back on those moments when you are feeling down or need a pick-me-up. **wink, wink**
  • In case you missed it, this month we partnered with Amon Elise who is vlogging through 31 Days of Masturbation Meditation. Learn along with her and try out your own Masturbation Meditation practice!


What you might write about:

Here are a few prompts to give you an idea of what you might write about. Keep in mind that these are some general prompts to get the ideas and thoughts flowing.

For more in-depth and specific prompts, please check out our journal prompts posted on Instagram or become a Patreon supporter for some amazing Patreon-exclusive reflection workbooks!

When writing an entry in your sex journal, you might write about the following topics and what you liked or didn’t like about them:
  • What did you wear and what did they wear?
  • How much of your clothing came off? How was it removed?
  • Was there “foreplay”?
  • What was said or what sounds were made during the sex?
  • At what point were you taken out of the experience (if ever)?
  • Where did the encounter take place?
  • Were there any limitations set prior to the encounter? Or any expectations made about how far things would or could go?
  • What parts of the body were engaged?
  • Were there any new techniques, positions, etc. attempted?
  • How quickly were you aroused? Why was that?

What you might write about after masturbating:
  • What prompted you to masturbate? Was it planned or spontaneous?
  • Did you use any stimuli? (porn, audio, images, etc.)
  • How long did it last?
  • Did you do your usual routine? Or did you try something new?
  • What was the setting or context?
  • How did you feel before, during and after?
  • Did anything take you out of the experience?
  • Were your eyes open or closed?

Writing prompt:

If I were to establish a sexual reflection or self-care routine… what would that look like? When would I be able to fit it into my day or week? What would I want to gain from it?
This voluntary monthly prompt invites you to explore your sexual biography.
Tips on exploring this: Set aside 20 minutes with your phone on silent and relax in a comfortable space with a pen and paper. Go slow. Start with what comes to mind from your first read of the prompt. Continue writing your stream of consciousness.

Researching Our Sexual Biographies

Have you ever kept a sex journal before?
Yes          No
Each month we ask a question in support of our leading mission at My Sex Bio. As we grow we plan to help fund and supply research for sex education. The results of these questions may be shared on social media as well as the following month’s newsletter. These results will also help curate relevant content for our readers, like you, moving forward. Responses are voluntary and anonymous.

Mantra of the month

I am not my body.
I am beyond my body.
I will give attention to my inner peace and explore my higher consciousness.

Thank you for your support, Patreon Community:

Janet Coderre
Want to join our Patreon Community and support a sexually-empowered future? Click here!

—The MY SEX BIO Team
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