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It's Here!

This is not a drill. My new novel is out! Go buy it now! Don't even bother to read the rest of this newsletter; it's garbage. Just buy my new novel, Sidequest: In Realms Ungoogled, and start reading.

IN THIS ISSUE

  • Sidequest: In Realms Ungoogled
  • News
  • Featured Book
  • Welcome to an Elite Club
  • Today's Writing Tip


Sidequest: In Realms Ungoogled

I told you to not even bother reading the rest of the newsletter. Just buy my new book and start reading. All I'm going to do for the rest of this is just randomly bang on the keyboard.

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See? You don't want to read that.

Fine. I guess we can talk about my new book. It's my favorite thing I've ever written. Maybe it's even the world's greatest novel. I don't know what one would propose to be better. A Tale of Two Cities, perhaps? Just from the name, that sounds kind of boring. Unless one of the cities is full of vampires and the other is full of werewolves. Is that what it's about? That actually is intriguing.

Still, my novel is better. It's exciting. It's funny. It's compelling. Do I have to do a hard sell on it? I assume you're getting this newsletter because you like my writing, and this novel is the best thing I've ever written, so what else do you need?

Well, it's a fun fantasy adventure about a computer programmer pulled into a giant conflict of good and evil while he's just trying to lead a normal life. Here's some cool images of the moral dilemmas the main character, Terrance, faces that you can share around:

There are some reviews up of it already if you don't believe me that it's great (which is offensive; I've never lied to you even if I have tried to scam you repeatedly). So give yourself a great day and get Sidequest and read it today. You all need to buy it right now so it will shoot up in the Amazon ranks and everyone will think it's super popular book (a great scam that's sure to work with your help). It's in ebook (and it's on Kindle Unlimited, so if you subscribe to that, you already have it -- just open it up and read away!) and paperback (for you old school people who need a tree to die for reading enjoyment). And if you're all like, "I don't have time to read some book like some commoner!" there's an awesome audiobook where you can have a professional read it for you... coming soon. I don't know; it was supposed to be ready today, but stuff happens. Should be any day now. If you're waiting on that, you're subscribed to the right newsletter for updates.

I'm so excited for you that you finally get to read Sidequest. Adventure awaits!


News

Interview with me, Frank J. Fleming, the world's most interesting author.

Here's a review of Sidequest: In Realms Ungoogled with lots of quotes.

Win a Kindle Paperwhite (it's a great scam)
 

Featured Book

Because I don't write enough for you to only read my books (that will change when I get machine learning to write my books for me), I'm going to feature books from other authors too. Today, its from another funny author, Simon Haynes. And I think it's currently free, so check it out.
 

Hal Spacejock: A Robot Named Clunk

When a debt collector kicks in his airlock and threatens his life, Hal Spacejock grabs the nearest cargo job and blasts off without reading the fine print. Which is a shame, because the instructions include phrases like 'avoid customs vessels', 'set down in a deserted field in the middle of nowhere' and, best of all, 'we'll be sending a competent pilot to fly your ship'.
Amazon link.
Kobo link.
 

Welcome to an Elite Club

You know, this newsletter is still in its early stages. That means all of you receiving this now are part of an elite group. Eventually, there's going to be millions of people on my email list, but you will always be the special ones who got in on it early. So I'm thinking we should all get numbers based on when we joined -- you know, like from the Stonecutters from The Simpsons. I'll be Number One since my email is first on the list. I'm honestly kind of peeved about that because I didn't sign up for this list. MailChimp just automatically put me on it. I really hate getting on email lists I didn't sign up for. But whatever; I'm Number One.

And as part of the club, you can get a special merit badge of achievement. There's three steps to getting it.

  1. Buy my book.
  2. Read my book.
  3. Tell others about it/write a review
Do that, and you get the super special merit badge of achievement. It's completely imaginary, but you are not allowed to imagine it until you complete those steps. And it's super cool. It's really shiny and it's got a dinosaur on it with rocket launchers and he's--

Hey! You're imagining it! You haven't completed the steps yet.


Today's Writing Tip

Have a Likable Protagonist


One thing you need for a good story is a likable protagonist. You need someone the audience can support and sympathize with so they'll get drawn into the story. Probably the most common rookie writing mistake you'll see is making the protagonist Adolf Hitler.

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Well, that's it for today's newsletter. I hope you have a fun time reading Sidequest. I'm excited to hear what you think of it, so as always, hit me up on email or ye olde social media.

Your friend,
Frank J. Fleming

P.S. I looked it up, and A Tale of Two Cities is about the French or something. That doesn't sound interesting at all. Stick with my novel.
Copyright © 2018 Frank J. Fleming, All rights reserved.