Hellbender Out on Audible Now!
So what's the complaint I've gotten about my novel Hellbender? People would look at it and say, "Wait? I'm supposed to read this myself? But this is the 21st century!" Well, no longer do you have to slog through interpreting letters into words because I've had a professional do that for you. Yes, Hellbender is out on Audible!
Why read Hellbender yourself like a commoner when audiobook veteran Austin Rising (yes, that's his real name) can read it for you. When you read yourself, you need to come up with your own idea of what each character sounds like, but Austin Rising has come up with even better voices than you would have thought of because he's done this more. Your feeble reading of Hellbender is just pathetic compared to his. So don't even try. Just get the Audible version.
In fact, I think Austin Rising's performance has made Hellbender even funnier. In fact, I'm so convinced that Hellbender is the funniest audiobook ever made that I'll make you this guarantee: If you claim to find a funnier audiobook, I'll punch you in the face and call you a liar.
Right in the face!
So go enjoy the hilarious scifi adventure of Hellbender in a brand new way by getting it on Audible now. And if you've never used Audible before, you're in luck; they'll probably just give you Hellbender for free for trying it out. What a bunch of suckers! You'd be stupid to not take advantage of that. Stupid and contemptible.
That's all I had for today. Get your copy of Hellbender on Audible in time for next commute or chores or marathon or however you listen to audiobooks. You'll be glad you did. And if you aren't, no refunds.
Frank J. Fleming
P.S. I was wrong; Audible does have refunds. But don't; it's a great book.